i've been very much a hermit this month and with that came a lot of thinking. too much at times and it has kept me awake many a night (and morning for that matter). my feelings are still running amok and i still find my eyes welling up but somehow, someway there has been a change.

this shift has me thinking even more but at least it has a more positive slant now.

edit: positive seems a bit of a strong word. i think what i mean by it is that i think i can maybe begin to inch forward. there seems to be s teeny tiny flicker of hope for something way down deep inside of me. it is not hope in regards to the boy but just hope, for something.

i read this over at the virgin's yesterday and i was struck by her naked truth. i feel quite similarily; that there may never be anyone for me and that i may not find anyone i want to be with. it's a bitch.  ¶ 1:02 a.m.